“Well Kate, it’s a good thing you’re not as ambitious as your husband.”
She didn’t intend to hurt me. The remark over coffee was more careless than vindictive.
This I know.
Referring to my full plate of kids, and full plate of life-
My friend was simply pointing out that it’s a good thing I am not trying to forge a career outside of the home since my high-reaching, aggressively pursuing husband is obviously ambitious enough for the both of us. (wink)
And I wanted to defend my station with every ounce of my exhausted, over-worked, under-appreciated being. (Click to read full post)
Cause there are no trophies or black tie events for good-housekeeping,
And motherhood has been relegated to a second class gig by more than a few.
Instead, I smiled. And let it go.
For like two hot seconds.
Then I puzzled over why this comment bothered me….
It bothered me that it bothered me.
And I wrestled it for months until I made some connections…
We are all walking around like we’ve got something big to prove. (insert ego)
And we define ourselves by our “doing”, not our “being” for sure.
And when you define yourself by your “doing”… well, you easily lose yourself.
And then someone comes along flinging some deflating opinion your way,
And you start to question yourself.
Yeah, us “stay at home moms” live mostly in the grey.
There are no ranking reports to print out at the end of every month, or quarterly awards to pursue.
Nothing concrete, black and white to prove our ambition or demonstrate our successes.
Yet, we pour ourselves out EVERY DAY and wear exhaustion like champions.
We SHOW UP in a million subtle ways that largely go unnoticed, and unmeasured.
And that’s okay, because I missed the part in scripture where Jesus won the trophy.
And I’m not too interested in fanfare over donkey rides and palm branches.
It may be that my ambitions are not so outwardly obvious,
But this occupation of quiet endeavors is building a rich interior life. (Don’t miss that)
It’s a daily grind of another kind.
And we don’t need charts, applause or awards of distinction to define our worth.
And we sure won’t define it by the performance of these little lunatics we are raising,
Or how Pinterest worthy and Facebook posted our homes/lives appear.
Nope. We know better.
And yes, we do have mission statements, core values, and (gasp) even goals.
Maybe the most ambitious goals…
I want order and laughter in my home. Warmth and discipline. Family meals, and spontaneous adventures. I want a little rowdiness, and some quite calm. I want a safe place for my people to fall, and a rooted shelter to grow hearts established in love. I want an environment that supports discussion and debate, along with worship and praise. I want to know the width, length, depth and heights of Christ’s love, and to pass that fullness along to my people so they can impact this world in exactly the ways they are supposed to.
Yeah… there is no greater ambition than that.
This I know.
Keep at it moms. This world needs us.
I pray that out of HIs glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.